ANESTESIA INFORMAZIONI: AFORISMI ed ANESTESIA

Anesthesia is terribly simple but sometimes can be simply terrible

If you can’t manage the surgeon, you have no business managing the anesthetic.

There is a direct relationship between the number of tattoos and the propofol dose.

There is an inverse relationship between the number of tattoos and the tolerance to regional anesthesia.

There is an inverse relationship between a surgeon’s ability and the frequency that he/she asks for more muscle relaxant

There is no vital organ in the body that cannot be reached with a two-inch needle.

There is no condition that cannot be made worse by surgery (and/or anesthesia).

Every patient is a “preop” — it’s just a matter of figuring out for what!

The patient isn’t bleeding dopamine!

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Statistics will “prove” anything…....even the truth.

Numbers are tools, not rules.

Patients don’t die from their disease; they die from the physiologic consequences of their disease (Osler).

Levophed, or leave them dead.

If you can feel a pulse, don’t panic.

Fibrillation is a sign of life.

Be wary of patients whose risk exceeds their ejection fraction.

Treat the patient, not the monitor.

Never anesthetize a patient who isn’t there.

The more effective the case, the more selective your evaluation.

Chance of survival drops precipitously as the BUN exceeds the body weight.

The more the ECG resembles the EEG, the sicker the heart.

Regarding open-heart surgery: If not on bypass by the end of page 1, expect a long case. If not on bypass by the end of page 2, survival odds drop.

Death can be deferred but not defeated.

Never block pain that isn’t there.

It is much easier to add (drugs) then to subtract (them).

No block ever fails, some just have to be supplemented more than others.

Fifteen minutes spent preoperatively with a patient is worth 15 mg of morphine as a premedicant.

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

Experience is what lets you recognize your mistake the second time you make it.

Worry about the blood loss you hear

You need more venous access when the surgeon is operating near a blood vessel you can name.

When things go wrong, focus on the problem, not the blame.

The poor surgeon needs good anesthesia, the good surgeon deserves it.

Patients do not know or really do not care about your job description.

Safety first, but patient comfort and good will immediately behind.

Never promise a patient anything that is not in your power to provide

A patient is not always right but is never wrong (perhaps uninformed, uneducated or ignorant, but not wrong).

Watch carefully what you do.Function before beauty (or style).

The lesser the indication, the greater the complication.

The patient is the most important person in the operating room.

Treat every patient as you would like to be treated.

Always be mindful of the “person” in the patient.